Thursday, January 29, 2009

Spend your money

So everyone is laying everyone off and everyone else is spending less to save money during the economic crisis..

Here is why you need to spend your money.

Home Depot lays off 7000 workers
That is 7000 people that cannot afford to shop at Circuit City.
Now Circuit City is making less money so they have to lay off 30,000 people
Now that is 30,000 people that cannot afford to shop at Condoms to go.

This means these 30,000 people will all be having unprotected sex because they have nothing better to do since they are out of work and cannot afford condoms.

Naturally, they will all get pregnant.

So now we have all these people that have kids, and are quickly running out of savings.
Their only option is to turn to crime. So they start by robbing some mom and pop shops here and for the most part, they are able to escape capture so they move on to bigger and more profitable targets.

What does this mean. It means the children of these 30,000 people are being raised by criminals and indoctrinated into criminal behavior themselves. These kids grow up to rob Home Depot because they have nobody watching the stores anymore since they were all laid off.

In the end, you can see how Home Depot is paying the price for laying off all the workers in the beginning. But it didn't start there. It started when you read a story on CNN that said we are in a recession and decided to stock away your money in the bank instead of buying that new tile saw.

I guess what I am saying here is if you will just stop hoarding your cash, you can save our country from being overridden by sexually active unprotected criminals who need lumber but don't want to pay for it.

Now, go get that tile saw.

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