Tuesday, March 15, 2011

My new amazing camera

So I had been debating about getting a new camera for awhile now and I finally decided to pull the trigger.

I threw caution to the wind, said money is no object, the sky is the limit, and finally hit the road to go get the most high tech top of the line camera I could possibly find.

I went back and fourth between Nikon, Olympus, Pentax, etc and after very thorough research, and convincing myself I would not have buyer's remorse because I need high quality photos of the kids growing up, I finally settled on the nicest Canon camera that money can buy.

That's right, I got the 110 ED. 36 more payments, and this baby is all mine:

I know what you are saying "That is to much camera" and you are probably right but you know what? My kids are worth it so keep your crappy opinion to yourself.

So I might have one a bit over board but I couldn't stop with just the camera, I made sure I got the deluxe model that comes with a state of the art "Flash" For you common folk, this is like a bright light bulb that "Flashes" or comes on and then goes off real quick.

I am sure you are thinking "Why would I want this flash?" well this camera can take pictures in the dark.

I am sure you are thinking "Why would I want to take pictures in the dark"

These are all good questions and if you wait til the end, we can get to all your questions. In the meantime, let me go over some of the advanced features that put this camera leaps and bounds above the rest.

These days, people are interested in getting their photos onto their computers and are always concerned about different memory chips and megabytes.

Well, this baby has the most advanced memory system available. Pictured below is the latest and greatest in camera memory. It stores the pictures right on the memory device and although I haven't located t yet, I think it has a USB plug on it somewhere for uploading pictures. Acutally, I bet it has Wi Fi because I am not seeing any sort of attachment on it for a cable. It says 24 pictures, but I am sure that means 24 thousand. or maybe million.

How many times have you been out and about and suddenly, your camera is no longer charged. Never happens with this model. This camera runs totally off the power of the very common "N size" batteries that can be found in a lot of mom and pop type convenience stores throughout the midwest:

I know, these batteries can get expensive, but life is too short to save your hard earned money for things like food and rent. Sometimes you have to splurge and for me, that time is now.

That is a cat jumping through number nine by the way which as we all know is the universal sign for long battery.. um it means they are like cats. these batteries are like 9 batteries each and they

So where was I? Oh yes the more advanced features. So let me ask you this: Do you know how much time the average person spends in their life zooming in and out before taking a photo? I have looked it up, and the answer is an astonishing 34 1/2 years. That is a lifetime to someone like me who is 34 1/2 years old. For some of you it is just a drop in the bucket and you don't care. To you I say "keep zooming" I am getting my life back. I have found the fountain of youth in this camera.

What I am getting at here is simply that this camera has eliminated the need for a zoom.
How has it done this? Well, the camera makers at Canon have decided if you want to see something close up, walk up to it. Canon wants you to experience life not watch it from afar.

The last thing I will mention about this camera because you are all thinking it. Ths is too nice, how do we keep common thieves from stealing it. Well, that is where the special camera case comes in.

Canon has created a camera case that is disguised as a 1950s style shaving kit.

Why would they do that? Think about it. Criminals since the beginning of time have all had facial hair. It is a proven fact. Many Many studies have been done at universities around the U.S. on this very subject. There is no arguing about this. Check this link for proof. This is a link of infamous criminals that would not think twice about killing you to get to your new canon camera: Bad Guys

So a criminal sees your "Shaving Kit" (I added the quotes there because remember, it is really a camera) See.....

Anyway, the criminals see this and they don't want to shave so they move on. Its fool proof.

So, now lets see the quality output from this piece of machinery. Below are some photos that this baby took. I am not sure about the mega pixels on this, but it has to be a lot.

First I want to say, none of these images has been airbrushed or photoshopped. Obviously, I can't prove that to you but It is a fact. This is Hi Def at its finest.

Here we have a shot of the white house. I took this when I was there visiting my friend George Glass (3 of you will get that reference but I am proud of it)

You can see how this camera brings out the depth and richness and symbolism that was popular during that city.

If you look close, you can see the president in the window there waving. He was very excited to be the first sitting president captured on the canon 110 ED

Next we have (like I have to tell you) this is obviously the statue of liberty. Now this is the perfect example of using the flash. A normal camera would not have been able to capture her in all her majesty but because of this camera's ability to turn night into day, we have this crisp picture of her guarding our country from riff raff that we don't want here.

This picture makes me proud to be an American. She has stood there since 1981 scaring anyone that comes here into thinking we are all giants w/ torches. A lot of you don't know this but before we surrounded the country with status portraying us as giants, we had all sorts of issues with people who are not from here, coming here and trying to be like us.

Problem solved.

You know what this is. It is the Great wall of China.

Interesting fact: this is the only man made land mark where you can look up at night and see space.

Well, I am done showing off, so I will leave you with this serene and peaceful view of the Atlantic ocean.

Okay, I will take your questions now.


  1. You should think about switching to non-reusable flash cubes. I hear they're the way of the future...

  2. Hilarious. I think I had that camera back in the day, but then we upgraded to the most fanciful of fancy cameras.....the Polaroid ;-)!